Another Sort of Sunshine

Graham Greene said the first twenty years are where the experience is;
the rest is merely observation. Rudolf Steiner called the first twenty years the
Overture. I spent my first twenty years in a world illuminated by a different sort
of sunshine from the one I`ve become accustomed to since. And I don`t really
understand why or how, even after this subsequent stretch of years. Of all the
accounts of or references to experiences similar to mine none completely
convinces me that others have known what I`ve known. Yet I feel that many
people must have passed through this world-transforming change that I`ve
undergone, and had it confirmed and echoed and insisted upon every day
thereafter, just as I`ve done. Strangely, some people who I`ve approached with
questions about it seem not to have understood what I`ve been on about at all!
Wordsworth described it best. Steiner explained it most satisfactorily. The
reminiscences on my inner life that follow are by way of a plea. Is this process
central to anyone else`s life? I feel like the son of a rich family brought up on the
Mediterranean coast somewhere that`s suddenly fallen on hard times. And now
we live in a council flat. It`s a nice council flat, with hot and cold running water
and a park round the corner, but it doesn`t compare with the Palladian palazzo
with Carrara marble, cypresses and olive groves that I grew up with. I seem to
have re-enacted the Fall. Have you?
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